The Instant Fix

Walking home from the gym the other day, after a hard workout, I found myself really, really needing my second cup of coffee of the day. Not wanting, needing. Being a born navel-gazer, this sent me off into the realm of wants versus needs. Then, onto the cognitive behavioral path. Did I really need this coffee or was my mind sending me false messages? Followed, of course, by the final thought of the moment—all this for a lousy cup of coffee!


Lately, this “wants versus needs” translated as “to buy or not to buy” has been a topic on the minds of many as the economy nosedives and fear takes over. Separating want from need is not always as easy as the coffee. For a long time, as we rode the bandwagon of good jobs and wages, there was little thought. Many, particularly those born after the baby boomers, just bought , with little regard to the cost, with the assumption that the good times would go on forever. We brought up our children, Generation Y, with the expectation that they were entitled to the good life with little sacrifice.


In the workplace, the culture clash between those whose grandparents had lived the Great Depression, and Generation Y, created some interesting scenarios. There is no right or wrong, just the difference in philosophy behind those who work hard, probably give too much to the job and save their money, versus youth who see balance as all important and the job as something that can be easily replaced and hence not to be given much respect.


We used all these material purchases to fulfill what has been defined as “retail therapy.” Buying would fill all our needs. Sad? Lonely? Anxious? Need a pick-me-up? Go shopping! It didn’t work, but we kept on trying. Shopping became our vehicle to express ourselves, to explore who we really are. For some, it tipped over into a shopping addiction, where it was no longer a choice, but a driving necessity. This cultural obsession with an instant fix feeds into other addiction problems as well.


Our culture continues to push the creed of consumerism--the way to happiness is though things. It isn’t. Studies have shown that, as our economy grew, our sense of individual and social well-being has dropped sharply. See “The High Price of Materialism” by Hugh Kasser. AA says it well: “One is too many and a thousand is never enough.”


The answers are similar to those themes well known in the field of addiction. There can be no true peace and satisfaction without developing internal strengths. The search needs to be inside us. You can call it spirituality, faith, a philosophy of life, or whatever. We all find it in our own way. Joy is in the small things around us every day that we miss because we are worrying about tomorrow.


This time of pulling back can be very valuable as research time into what is really important—what we truly need compared to what we think we want.